Crap this Dad Says or “Holy Crap I need a first post!”

A long time ago, when my wife and I got married, our basic plan was for me to stay home and write (at the time I was an aspiring screenwriter).

It wasn’t a decision the parental units understood.

I mean, in theory they did. Intellectually they got it and supported it.

However, each parent, no matter how liberal or understanding they were, seemed to have reservations about me staying at home.

The more things change…..

Honestly, I think that as much as we all want to feel we’re accepting of a new way of doing things and the ability of any of us – man or woman – to pursue whatever our bliss is, we have a hard time dealing with it.

On the other hand, those myriad of opportunities are jacking us up pretty good as well.

The other day, a guy I know approached me to get some advice about being a dad. he’s a young “career” dude and the pregnancy wasn’t planned.

He was panicked because he wanted to be a good dad, like his own father was, but also wanted to succeed in the career he was on track for. He wanted – no, needed – to be the breadwinner, the kick-around-the-ball dad and everything else. He needed to spend a ton of time with the soon-to-arrive child as well as work the 12-14 hour days that come with the career he’s chosen.

How the hell do you balance that? How the hell am I supposed to advise that? Is there advice for that?

Our roles are changing and the opportunities that come bring real easy ways to become a bit unbalanced.

As men (or is it MEN), we are excited by the prospect of fatherhood and (for some of us) the potential to be home full time for our kids.

But like my extended family 12 years back, the idea is so foreign to us, and so in the face of the traditional male role that we all sort of freeze.

I’ve had  stay-at-home dads introduce themselves as such and then follow it up with “but I also…” as if being home with the kids wasn’t enough.

I sometimes find myself thinking the same thing.

So that’s one of the things this blog is about. Trying to piece together what the hell it means to be a dad and a “guy” in the world these days.

Which is not to say this is going to be some dry study with big words. Because I’m also a huge sports and comics geek. I’m a big fan of football (I write about it for a living), a huge Supernatural and Buffy fan, a passionate comic fan and professional dog walker (I’m dead serious).

I have two kids, both boys. Call them Alpha (the first) and Omega (the last). Alpha is a tween (God help us all) or as he called himself the other day “Sullen Tween”. The Omega is a ball of seven year old energy who (along with all his friends of either gender) really loves scatological humor.


You’d think one would prep me for the other but turns out the little shits are totally different.

Oh, right, there will sometimes be cursing on this blog. I’ll try to keep it under control.

I’ve been married about a dozen years and she hasn’t killed or maimed me yet.I’m as shocked as anyone.

We’ve lived in Los Angeles, Sacramento, Astoria and now New Jersey.

It’s been crazy.

So now I’ll be sharing my crazy with the world.

Ain’t you lucky?

I’ll aim for posts on Monday, Wednesday and Friday – even during football season though Monday posts might look like this:


Some of what I write you’ll like, some of it you’ll love, most of it will make you think I’m nuts.

Some of it you’ll agree with, some of it, not so much.

Comment, bitch, email, complain – just try to keep it civil.

All right? All right.

For now I leave you with one of my favorite inadvertent Dad-Fails EVER.


2 Responses to “Crap this Dad Says or “Holy Crap I need a first post!””

  1. 1 BEDoran84
    June 19, 2013 at 7:59 pm

    ‘Bout time! I look forward to all of the (mis)adventures.

  2. 2 Juanita Lyons
    June 19, 2013 at 8:03 pm

    Interesting, my generation spent years saying, “I’m a mother and housewife, but I also…” or later, the reverse, “I’m a Public Heath Nurse, but I’m also a mother”. We’re all confused and always working it out. You put in better, funnier words. thanks!

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What I’m Into:

Reading: Dead Beat by Jim Butcher Listening to: The Heist, Macklemore Watching: Damages

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