24
Jun
13

The Battle of the Bulge

If Cookie Monster can do it, can't I?

If Cookie Monster can do it, can’t I?

Just to be up front about this, the title in no way refers to the actual Battle in the Adrennes, the famous Battle of the Bulge from World War 2.

It has no relation to the German’s desperate gamble to turn the European theater around, the Bloody Bastards of Bastogne or any episodes of the fantastic mini-series Band of Brothers.

No, this title refers to the bulge around my waist.

One of the greatest challenges I have in being a stay/work-at-home dad is staying in any sort of shape. Keeping myself moving and keeping myself from eating…..well, everything in the house….is a major issue for me. I know that last time I had it checked, my cholesterol was a bit high and that was a concern.

So slowly, but surely (but slowly), I have been trying to exercise more and eat less crap.

It’s been an up and down battle.

The two biggest issues I have are snacking and soda intake. I’ve really cut down on the soda for the most part, which was a huge step.

I rarely drink regular soda (well, in my case cherry soda) anymore, having switched to an all-natural soda. So I’m not getting the same super-refined sugar I was inhaling before and also avoiding all the chemicals which get put in that – which seems to strip the paint off cars.

Which has also completely wiped out my need for caffeine. Soda for me is about taste (hence the cherry) but in many ways that’s just a ridiculous lie. It’s about sugar and caffeine and the fact that for 20 years I trained my body to require both.

I’ve largely weened myself off the caffeine, and am working on the super-refined sugar.

Of course, the other issue is snacking. Chips, oh how I love you.

That’s probably going to be my single biggest challenge because – and here’s a dirty secret – I don’t like fruits or vegetables. I’m not sure why it happened that way, but it did.

So on top of cutting back on grabbing anything with a high carb or sugar count for snack, I also have to train myself to eat things I really don’t like.

Thank God my kids don’t eat anything like me.

Oh Guinness.... I'm going to miss you over the next few weeks....

Oh Guinness…. I’m going to miss you over the next few weeks….

So for the next few weeks, the Wife and I are doing a variation of the South Beach Diet, which worked really well for us a few years ago. The reason it worked so well for us was in part because it’s not a diet in the classic sense, so much as a sudden and radical readjustment in your eating habits.

Getting portions in control, cutting down on really processed foods and sugar and generally eating better. There’s no “cheating” – if in a few weeks I want a cookie, I can have one. I just have to know that my body is likely to say “OH GOODY CARBS” and crave more.

Adding this to my current light regimen of exercise and dog walking (more exercise) will help out a lot in dropping the weight and getting my body back into a healthier mode.

Again, though, the biggest issue for me is being at home and having way too much food at my disposal. I don’t have anyone to remind me to eat a carrot instead of a bowl (bag) of chips, so it’s up to me and my occasionally craptastic willpower.

I want to eat better and feel better. I want to drop weight and be healthier.

I want to stop feeling out of breath coming up the stairs and I’d like my knees to hurt less.

I’d like to be able to run around with my kids and not feel like I’m going to throw up from the effort.

Dropping that middle tire will go a long way towards doing that.

I’ll feel better about myself and be healthier.

All I have to do is stop myself from walking down the street to the Quick Mart and grabbing a cookie, chips or ice cream.

Hopefully I’m not totally screwed.

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Reading: Dead Beat by Jim Butcher Listening to: The Heist, Macklemore Watching: Damages

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