22
Nov
13

Alpha Tween is Kind of a Dumbass

Alpha Tween isn’t really a dumbass. He’s not even a clutz.

He just keeps breaking things.

Well OK, this time it ended up being a sprained wrist, but still there we were in the ER again.

The ER physicians assistant we saw (do you ever see a doctor in the ER anymore?) was very unclear—even when I pressed a bit. It seems like because they aren’t doctors, they don’t want to be definitive.

She made it sound as if he either re-broke the same part of the hand or the break wasn’t fully healed which would be incredibly frustrating because it’s not like the orthopedist we saw last time didn’t examine him when his cast was going to come off.

We finally made it to the orthopedist and LOW AND BEHOLD the wrist is strained not broken and it turns out that non-pedes doctors and nurses have issues reading x-rays for kids which is why you always have to go elsewhere for a second look. So she saw the old break, healed, and thought it was broken again.

I think because, again, she was incredibly unclear.

So that’s why they were dumbasses.

Here’s why he is a dumbass and why having kids can be incredibly frustrating and more expensive than it should be.

In injury took place in dance class—yes, he broke something in dance clas. The kids were doing some sort of choreography which involved a—I guess the best way to describe it is a “ring-around-the-rosy” type thing where the kids spun in a big circle.

Alpha was in his high-top sneakers (he loves them way more than I have ever loved a sneaker) and was having problem doing the moves.

It makes sense—basketball shoes are for gripping and there is a certain amount of sliding and flexibility dance requires which you can’t pull off in grippy shoes.

His solution? Take the shoes off.

Unfortunately for all of us, he kept on his socks. On the tile floor.

If this sounds like a recipe for disaster, I assure you it was.

Suffice to say, the kid lost his grip on his partners, slipped completely and fell. He told me there was a moment where he remembered you’re supposed to fall on your butt, however he wasn’t in a position to twist that way.

He also said someone once told him you should fall on your shoulder—I don’t know about you but that seems like a great way to crack a collarbone.

Anyway, he put his hand down to break his fall and it immediately felt a sharp pain. Long story short, he ended up in the nurses’ office as the pain grew over the course of the day.

We were lucky it wasn’t broken because that would have cost more money, more than likely.

This is now two severe injuries this fall, three in just over 365 days. All on the right side of the body which is odd, save for the fact that the right side is his dominant side.

Here’s the kicker: only one of these injuries was due to sports, or more specifically, football. Two of them were school related in classes involving body movement like dance.

So I think forget concussion issues in youth football—ban dance in schools!

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

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