Archive for the 'Random Randomness' Category

01
Apr
14

The Professor Thinks He’s Funny

art by Alpha Tween who, I am shocked, knows who Mr T is.

art by Alpha Tween who, I am shocked, knows who Mr T is.

So by and large, I ignore April Fools Day and it ignores me. My family isn’t big on practical jokes because we’re goofy 24/7/365.

We don’t need a special day to celebrate it, you know?

This morning I went downstairs to wake the kids up, as I normally do. Lately, I have been finding The Professor under his comforter on the floor, because he’s apparently too good for beds. Seriously, this kid might as well use his bed for kindling, for all the use he’s getting out of it right now. So I was by no means surprised to find him under a lump of covers and a comforter on the floor again this morning.

Keep in mind, my eyes started at the bed, saw just two pillows laying against the wall (he props himself up to sleep) and then saw the comforter. It’s not like I didn’t look at the bed.

So I reached down and started to pull back the covers when—BLAMMO—the pillows on the bed burst apart, and a small child flew out of nowhere yelling APRIL FOOLS.

It turns out he woke up early (without an alarm clock, which is amazing all by itself), decided on multiple places he could hide, finally settled on one and got set up. He then waited for me to come downstairs and sprung his trap. My wife is probably pretty lucky she wasn’t the one who woke him up—she’d have had a heart attack.

I’ll give the kid credit—it was a good prank. Jokes on him though, because I know he can get his ass up and out of bed with no help from me.

 

07
Jan
14

I’m as Cold as Ice….

photo(2)….and that’s enough of that song.

It is however, cold. Cold enough to where I had to force everyone, including the dog,  from their beds multiple times. Cold enough to where The Professor declared that it was “crazy” and “irresponsible” for there to be school today. Cold enough to where it seemed like out heaters just said “Screw you guys, I’m not dealing with this nonsense.”

It’s not even as cold here as it is elsewhere in the US (congrats Minnesota!) or even in the state of New Jersey.

However, it’s definitely colder than it’s been since we moved east and even though we’ve been through several winters and many storms, I can’t recall it being this cold before.

I love winter, and I much prefer it to summer. In my opinion, it’s a lot easier to put on layers if you need to than take them off and end up arrested because of all those pesky nudity laws. Or anti-nudity laws.

Whatever they are called—maybe anti-hairy butt laws, I don’t know—I’ve heard you get in trouble for stripping down and yelling “IT’S JUST TOO DAMNED HOT” as you run through Whole Foods.

I’m a much bigger fan of winter and cold than I am of the hot and humid July and August months where I live (which, again, isn’t even usually the worst humidity in the country).

But this is ridiculous. Penguins are going south for some warmer climes. Polar bears are grabbing scarves. Ice cubes are shivering.

It’s cold ya’ll. But hey, my Iphone app says it should get up to 10 degrees later!@

SO WE HAVE THAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

And we thought Ned Stark was crazy.

image via Troll.me

01
Jan
14

My Non-2014, Non-New Years Non-Resolutions

via cdn.ndtv.com and Google

Happy New Year!

Every year people decide that January 1st <insert current year> is the day to make sweeping changes.

It’s a good day—we’re beginning a new year and so everything sort of reboots.

However, I find that quite often we think of these things as things we have to force ourselves to do—as punishments and things we have to do rather than want to do.

I don’t want to approach this year with “resolutions” but rather “changes.”

So these aren’t resolutions, and they aren’t something I came up with this year. These are goals I am setting for myself, changes I want to implement and they have been on my mind for a long time.

Now is as good a time as any to embark on these journeys.

Change how/what I eat

I don’t want to say “diet” as that always seems to have a negative connotation. Besides, this isn’t about losing weight—though it’s a desired byproduct. It’s more about eating healthier so I feel better.

Besides a “diet” seems to involve guilt and varying amounts of self-loathing. I prefer the idea of a change because it always allows me to indulge a little without the guilt and while I can be strict with myself it’s not about doing without until I hit “goal X” but making a long-term change.

I’m not changing my eating habits to reach a goal—I want to change my habits as a goal.

It’s especially tough working from home and even more so because I leave the house in the middle of the day to walk dogs. If I don’t bring a sandwich with me, I just grab something on the road and that is never healthy.

So I have to start making lunches to bring with me on my dog-walking expeditions.

Like I said—this isn’t a diet, it’s a wholesale attitude shift.

Kick soda once and for all

Consider this an addendum to the first Non-Resolution.

I will probably always drink soda now-and-then because it’s an addiction. However, I was able to do more “then” as opposed to “now” for a long time and would like that to be the case again.

Frankly, I can tell the difference in not just my body but my emotions. Sound silly? I’ve definitely found my overall disposition much worse when I regularly drink soda. My temper as well.

Can’t tell you why, but it’s a definite thing.

So I will gradually ween myself off soda. I say “ween” because the only thing worse than me on soda is me cold turkey.

I kicked soda a few months back and then got sick and stressed out and spun out of control.  I won’t say I “gave up” but view it as a strategic retreat.

I was being overwhelmed by hostile forces, pulled my surviving units back and marshaled my strength for a winter offensive.

So if I am an asshole online here or there I apologize in advance. It’s not me, it’s the highly processed sugar or lack thereof.

Write a book

I have decided to write a book. Probably fiction, possibly horror, maybe not. That’s all I have for you now other than I will keep you updated.

This is more about writing non-football stuff and setting a goal around something I have always wanted to do. It’s a challenge I am setting for myself and I am excited.

Exercise/Get outside more

I spend way too much time on my ass.

A lot of what I do requires it, but it’s a bit ridiculous. I was jogging for a while but the same time my diet and soda intake spiraled, the exercise stopped.

I also love being outside and do not nearly make myself get into the sun nearly enough.

So, I am going to get out more. Because I need the exercise and growing things need daylight.

Release myself from anger

This is a big one and the one non-resolution I am most daunted by.

It’s not a secret that 2013 didn’t go as planned. And some of it involved things which felt like betrayals. That left me angry—furious really—for a long time. I’ve tried letting it go and then all of a sudden something trigger the anger again.

It’s not healthy and I’m pretty sure it’s damaged some friendships at least a little. That’s what happens when you explode—some folks get caught in the debris field whom you didn’t to.

On top of it all, it’s just not a healthy way to be. Sure, I may feel justified—and probably am—in a lot of it. But being pissy isn’t a good look and probably contributed to a lot of health problems and the complete strategic retreat from all the healthy stuff I had been doing.

When you’re constantly angry, it leaves very little energy for anything else.

So I’m going to let go of that anger. I’m not saying I won’t be angry or won’t feel angry even about things that have already happened.

I am saying that I will do my damnedest to stop letting it bleed into everywhere else and just let it go when I feel it.

Spend more time with the family and friends

When you are a freelance writer—especially in an ultra-competitive space like NFL journalism—it is easy to spend your days frantically churning out content to prove you can write whatever needs to be written.

It’s super-easy to forget the rest of the world exists.

While the NFL continues to roll on and I am just getting into looking at 2014 NFL draft prospects, things are about to slow way down.

Normally, I put my head down and grind almost work harder.

Not this year. This year I am going to make the time to play more board games with the kids. Take my wife out for dinner. Re-connect with friends I never see. Make new friends, because even 42-year-old stay-at-home-dads and writers can do that.

Otherwise what the hell is the point of all the work?

I’m sure I’ll come up with more of these as the days move along. That’s the great thing about non-resolution resolutions—they aren’t a fixed amount and you can add to them whenever you feel like it.

ps – I am celebrating New Years Day with a burger from Five Guys as a last hurrah and a SCREW YOU to traditional resolutions. HAH!

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

28
Oct
13

A Rousing Game of NAME! THIS! THING!

photo(9)

About a month and a half ago, I was walking The Professor to school and noticed this item had sprung up over the weekend in a yard we walk past every day.

I expected it to become something completed but instead it has sat in this exact state since I first noticed it. It’s a ramp, yes. Or is it a really lame quarter pipe for squirrel skaters? Or a launching pad?

I don’t know. I thought we would find out eventually when it was finished but either it is finished (in which case: lame) or someone lost interest (in which case: also lame).

So you guys tell me—what do you think this is?

Inquiring minds want to know in the comments.

I would like to point out, as a side note, that the structure is built on a putting green.

So somebody had enough yard to add a putting green but then never used it and could build a ramp on it instead and then leave that sitting there for months.

Ah, Montclair.

Side note part the second: We’re having a guest post later today! Huzzah!

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

24
Oct
13

I CAN SEE THROUGH TIME

image via funnyasduck.net

So my wife has started working home more often. We share an office in the house, so we’ve been in each other’s space a lot more, which has actually been fine, save for when she is on a client call and I’m doing a radio spot—in which case one of us has to leave.

Anyway, it also affords us the time to have conversations like the one which led me to discover that yes, I have the ability to SEE THE FUTURE.

Here’s yesterday’s conversation so you have some background.

And then prepare to be blown away.

 

 

Me: Man it’s cold. It seems cold enough to snow.

Her: It’s not.

Me: I’m not saying it is, I’m saying it feels like it.

Her: It’s 50 degrees.

Me: It’s almost cold enough…..

Her: <laughter>

Me: What?

Her: Yeah, it’s only 20 degrees too warm.

Me: I don’t like you or your logic anymore.

Here’s the thing—I woke up this morning and it was totally cold. I have proof.

SEE IT'S COLD

SEE IT’S COLD

So here it is a day later and totally almost cold enough to snow, maybe.

You know what this means? That’s right! I CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE.

Clearly I wasn’t really thinking yesterday was cold enough to snow—I was seeing through the space-time vortex into Thursday morning.

And here’s more proof it is cold enough to be cold.

LOOK FROST

LOOK FROST

That white stuff? Totally frost.

MORE FROST

MORE FROST

And look! Frost on the playground.

A CLOSEUP OF - FROST!

A CLOSEUP OF – FROST!

In case you can’t see, the above is a closeup of frost. I tried to get a picture of my breath but couldn’t get it to work but it was absolutely cold enough to see my breath.

Holy crap you guys! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

How awesome is this? I can now do all sorts of things with my future-sight. I can stop crimes before they happen. I can win bets on sports events. I can figure out when the last donut is going to be eaten and get there first.

I promise you guys I will only use my powers for mostly good things though (mostly good because I’m only human—OR AM I?) and not for evil (MOSTLY BECAUSE I AM ONLY SORT OF HUMAN).

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

11
Oct
13

I like kicking leaves

IMG_4284I love fall. I think I like winter more, but I really enjoy fall.

Especially since we’ve moved east. In Southern California, there aren’t season. There is “hot”, “less hot”, “rainy” and “OH DEAR GOD THE HOT” along with some other assorted other “seasons” like “fire”, “earthquake” and “smog”.

Here on the East Coast we have drastic change in the weather. It got cold here in the last week or so (not Alaska or Arctic cold, just sorta cold) and the trees had their yearly implosion of color and falling leaves.

I like to kick them.

There’s something cathartic about kicking leaves, at least as far as I’m concerned. Not quite as much as surfing is, but pretty darn close.

I found out that The Professor is a fan as well.

While we were walking down the sidewalk to our car after school, I started kicking leaves because AWESOME and Professor stopped to watch.

Professor: Wait, Dad, WAIT.

Me: What’s the matter?

Professor: Let me get on the side of you so I can do it to.

After which he crossed the sidewalk and got on the lawn next to it and started kicking.

My kid is awesome.

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

IMG_4285

31
Jul
13

A Brief Intermission While I Freak Out

So normally Wednesday is one of the days I power out multiple posts for this here fine blog which you are reading.

Thanks for doing so, by the way.

Ahywho, today is NOT a Wednesday like that.

No today is a “I am totally freaking out because I have too much work to do and football practice and gymnastics and dog walking and and and and and EARTH SHATTERING KABOOM.”

I’m trying to avoid the Earth Shattering Kaboom part.

So anyway, I will not be posting much here today, though I hope to catch up tomorrow and Friday.

I’m just swamped with paid work (which is a good thing) and one more thing might actually snap what little hold on reality I have.

I’ll be back tomorrow(ish).

Thanks for bearing with me.

This freakout has been sponsored by Not Having a TARDIS or Enough Beer and Meds.

 

26
Jul
13

Everything I Ever Hated About Driving in NYC, Encapsulated by a Single Jackass

So I had to go fetch the kidlets from my parent’s house on Long Island (also accepted: Strong Island or Lawng Islawnd) and ended up, as I almost always do, rolling back to New Jersey during commuter time.

Two of my normal “avoid Manhattan at all costs” routes were solid red on the Google Map app, so I chose to follow its instructions into the city.

You can pick my car out by the smoke coming out of my ears and the windows – image via EarthIsland.org

When we lived in Queens, I hated driving. I mean, loathed it on a level I can’t really express. “Hated with the white hot fire of a billion supernovas” doesn’t quite touch it.

There’s a lot I loved about living there. The trains, the array of food and cultures. But aside from concerns about public schools, driving is by far the thing I miss least about the place.

I could describe all the things I hate about traversing NYC in a motorized vehicle, but instead I will tell you this story. You pick out what parts annoy me the most if you can.

Traffic was awful. Worse, Google Maps took me a way I never go and it never suggests. I should have known this would end badly and just went the way I normally go and I’ll never know why I didn’t.

Suffice to say, it was the first of several bad calls on my part.

We ended up on Canal Street in massive traffic. It was multiple lanes of “never going to move more than a foot at a time” madness. There was a lot of gridlock, so much so that Alpha Tween said “Isn’t that supposed to be illegal? Don’t they care?”

To which I reply, no. It’s New York City. They don’t give a rats ass unless a cop is there.

So we get to… you know what I don’t even know where we were. It’s a blur. All I know is, we were in the right lane, not making progress but at the time, relatively OK with that. Aside from Alpha needing a bathroom (BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES) we weren’t in a hurry.

So we had moved another 3 and a half inches and then stopped, when the guy in front of me gets out of his car. He’s on the phone and I figured maybe he’s trying to get a bead on exactly where he is so someone can navigate him out of there.

No, he flat out leaves his car and walks down the street. Still on his phone. To look at sunglasses.

The glasses weren’t even THIS cool – image via wisegeek.com

Seriously. He just said to himself, “You know what? Fuck it. I need some new shades.” Then got out of the car and left it there on the side of the road.

Which, if you drive in NYC, you know is just something we called “normal.”

But hang on, because it gets better.

Slappy is down the block looking at glasses so of course the damned traffic starts moving. In fact it moves a lot. So much so that had

jackass been in his car we would have moved a block. I’d go around the idiot’s car but nobody will let me because New York City Drivers.

When Slappy finally sees the traffic move, what do you think he does? Run back to his car when he realizes he’s holding up an entire lane of traffic?

Hell no.

He wanders back – you could call it a saunter – finishes his phone call, then gets in his car.

By now the light is red. So he pulls forward again, stopping ironically right next to the sunglasses place.

At that point, the vendor runs to the car and leans into the window. The boys and I are actually impressed by this – entrepreneurship at it’s finest.

You’d think Slappy would want to do it quickly because of course he’s already held up traffic once. But no, the idiot hands the vendor a $20 bill. And waits for change.

And of course the light goes green again.

image captured from the movie Big Trouble in Little China and is NOT a self potrait

image captured from the movie Big Trouble in Little China and is NOT a self potrait

Yes, again, we’re stuck behind this moron as he continues his transaction as if we’re not there. And once again I can’t get over to another lane because Screw you.

This time though, as much as because it’s the only way I can blow off steam as it is because I have a delusion it will work, I blow my horn. As do the dozen cars behind me.

You know what this idiot does?

THROWS ON HIS FREAKING HAZARDS.

Yes, in case I didn’t realize he wasn’t going anywhere, Asshat McGee thought some blinkers might let us know he’s in the middle of something vital.

Finally the vendor’s helper brings change back – to their credit they both look back at the cars with a “sorry” facial expression – then the light turns red and the driver FINALLY moves his car.

But wait.

That’s NOT all.

The frakking moron turns on his left indicator.

Now, recall we’re in the far right lane. There are three, maybe four lanes of traffic between him and the left side if the road.

“What’s he doing?” inquires Alpha.

It’s a pretty freaking good question.

I figure, the guy must need to get over and is just starting the process now.

BUT NO. This guy – after having screwed over everyone behind him – has decided to somehow force his way into a left turn across multiple lanes of heavy traffic.

An incredulous traffic cop showed up and after a moments discussion – where the cop just looked flabbergasted and I could only imagine this fuckwit in front of me was all like “Well, I HAD to get these kicking new shades, but I really need to make this left turn” – the cop actually stops oncoming traffic AND all the lanes going our way so this waste of space can make his left.

I swear to God this is all true. NONE OF IT is hyperbole. This happened exactly like this.

But hey, how could it be the moron’s fault? Really, why didn’t I know the world revolved around his dumb ass? I mean, we should all stop

image via JasperFForde.com

at any time so he can overpay for some cheap sunglasses he could get in a freaking CVS for half the price. It’s part of being the center of the universe, right?

Hell, I’m the idjit who drove into the city in the first place.

I probably deserved what I got.

On the plus side, the boys decided that we would be better off with either jet boots or a hover car and are going to build either/or.

So I got that (and a Guinness) going for me, which is nice.

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

26
Jul
13

My New Life’s Ambition Involves Zombies

I have a lot of ambition.

Some of it has been realized—attending and covering the Senior Bowl in Mobile, Alabama and covering the NFL Draft live at Radio City Music Hall. I’ve done both for about five years now.

Some of it has not—I want to cover the Super Bowl, I want to publish a book and I want to sky dive.

I’ll get to them at some point of course.

I have a new ambition now, one which may not be easy, but I’m putting it out into the universe anyway.

My newest ambition is to to get on The Talking Dead.

image via AMC

For those of you unfamiliar, The Talking Dead is a talk show, hosted by Chris Hardwick of Nerdist fame, which airs right after each episode of The Walking Dead, the awesome zombie television show on AMC.

You might also recognize his voice from Back to the Barnyard.

Basically, the show gathers Hardwick and three other people (sometimes cast members, sometimes celebrity fans) who then talk about the show in general as well as the episode we just saw.

Man, I so need to be on this show.

I would be an awesome guest. I know the show and comic backwards and forwards. I’m funny (RIGHT?) and well spoken.

I’m even semi-famous thanks to the videos I do at Bleacher Report.

I’ve got it all!

Hey, I even have a post planned for sometime in the next few weeks (one of the Pops in Pop Culture pieces) about Rick Grimes as a dad.

Honestly, there’s no harder job than parenting during the apocalypse. You can’t even fob them off on the public school system to get a break from the little monsters.

Yeah, I’ve got takes for days about this show.

So there it is. I’m not sure how to make it happen yet, but it will happen.

Then I just have to get the kids on The Walking Dead itself as zombies and all will be well.

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

26
Jul
13

Sometimes Social Media is for Something Other Than Bitching Loudly

I tend to see a lot of frustration on social media these days—trial verdicts and steroids in sports and random, bad things happening. Social Media—chiefly Twitter and Facebook of course—is the place where you go to yell.

Loudly.

And for long stretches of time.

image via Forbes.com

Why not? A lot of the time it’s an echo chamber—the people you follow and who follow you often believe (and get cheesed off by) the same stuff. It can be a little different for me at times because I’m in sports media, so that particular feed doesn’t get as much politics and whatnot in it because nobody is paying me to spout off about that stuff.

I will admit I do nerd it up on there at times though and others pay the price.

Still, my Facebook page has been filled with various bits of outrage for the last few weeks and I’ll be honest—it was getting to the point that I really couldn’t take it anymore. I mean, I get it, I’m outraged about a lot as well, but man it gets to be hard when every post is filled with anger and—often—vitriol.

On either end of the political spectrum by the way. Thanks media—you’ve taught us that screaming opinions and not listening is the way to go!

Yesterday though, the very first thing I saw on social media—Facebook to be exact—was a picture of an old college friend standing with his newborn baby boy. The kid was already smiling, which makes sense because his dad is awesome.

Social media is for a lot of different things. Sometimes we forget it can be a reminder life isn’t all anger and frustration.

So next time you’re looking at Facebook or Twitter and getting frustrated, do a search of your friends and followers. Look for the pictures they post and the updates they have which share their joy rather than their frustration.

And then go ahead and post some of your own. Go take a stupid picture of the cat. Find something dumb but adorable your kid says. Take a picture of a pint of beer and label it “IT’S DRINK O’CLOCK SOMEWHERE!”

If you can’t find the fun and joy in your feed, make the fun and joy in your feed.

And in that vein, here is an awesome picture of a T-Rex with tiny arms who is overcoming his adversity.

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

via dumpaday.com




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Reading: Dead Beat by Jim Butcher Listening to: The Heist, Macklemore Watching: Damages