Posts Tagged ‘animals


My Dog Murders Innocent Dog Toys

You try to raise them right. It’s all you can do, isn’t it?

And yet then they turn into murdering nutjobs, spreading chaos and death across the whole house.

Not the kids, I mean the dog.

Dog has claimed another victim in her never-ending fight to destroy any and all squeaking stuffed toys put in her way.

This weekend, Bacon the Pig bit the dust. Dog was working on his (her? it? I never asked) ear and finally tore it off on Friday. She then pulled stuffing out on Saturday, I can only imagine attempting to divine the future from his fluffy innards.

He was buried in the garbage Saturday night after a small candlelit ceremony which took place only in my head because come on people he was a dog toy.

Farewell porker.....

Farewell porker…..

Farewell Bacon. Enjoy that great big dog toy park in the sky.

Bacon is survived by Roadkill the Squirrel, Ferret, three dog bones, Mr. Moose and some balls.

Dog is currently sleeping on the futon in the office.

One can only assume she is merely biding her time before she strikes again.

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What I’m Into:

Reading: Dead Beat by Jim Butcher Listening to: The Heist, Macklemore Watching: Damages