Posts Tagged ‘BATHROOM incursions


My kids refuse to use their own bathroom, like, EVER

The clan and I live in an old house, converted into a multifamily dwelling. It’s not uncommon in this part of the east coast, or New Jersey, and our neighborhood is an interesting mix of converted and non-converted houses.

As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my bathroom door

As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my bathroom door

The particular house we live in has three floors – two normal apartments and an attic single (well, there’s also a basement apartment which I understand they can’t rent because it’s not legal to. And there are very few Hobbits in this part of New Jersey).

Not long ago (actually right before I lost my regular writing gig because TIMING), we decided to rent the upstairs “attic” because with Alpha Child hitting Tweendom and Omega Child being….. well, HIM…. they needed some space of their own.

They were super-excited because it was like their own little apartment, minus a kitchen but with its’ own bathroom.

Of course, in order to take full advantage of the bathroom, they would need to, I don’t know – USE THE BATHROOM.

For some reason both kids spend more time in the downstairs bathroom (which my wife and I use) than upstairs. Even if someone is in the bathroom, but nobody is in the upstairs bathroom.

Which brings me to the interaction I had last night with Omega Child. Alpha was in the downstairs bathroom (BECAUSE OF COURSE HE WAS) trying to steam his clogged nasal passages and lungs free of crud.

Cue Omega Child knocking on said bathroom door.

Me: Why are you knocking on the door? Your brother is in their steaming. Can’t you hear the shower?

Omega: I need to go to the bathroom.

Me: You have a bathroom, go use that.

Omega: *blank expression*

Me: Seriously, you have your own bathroom. Nobody is in there. Ever. Go use that.

Eyes downcast, Omega leaves.

Me: Wait. Come back.

Omega returns.

Me: Why won’t you guys use your bathroom upstairs? You know you have on, right? You’re aware of that?

Omega nods.

Omega: But I have to go.

Me: So go! Why is it you guys always bother whoever is in the bathroom downstairs when there is an open one upstairs? Hell, I use your bathroom more than you.

Omega shrugs.

Me: *sigh* Just go.

I can’t figure it out. The Wife thinks maybe our bathroom is just nicer, but I suspect it’s the lazy factor. Having to go upstairs is so…..very….hard……

Whatever the reason, every day is another bathroom incursion.

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