Posts Tagged ‘dad

28
Jun
13

The Dishes, They Are Multiplying!

It's.....ALIVE

It’s…..ALIVE

In two days time, the dishes have taken over the kitchen.

Keep in mind, the boys and I have done more than one load and in fact have cleared them out more than once.

But there are three of us at home and that just builds up dirty dishes at a ridiculous rate.

They’re like bunnies. Dirty, dirty bunnies.

And you can read that last sentence in several ways, so have fun.

Seriously though, I don’t ever get the explosion of dishes which takes place when the rest of the house is home. Try as I might, I can’t get them to clear their plates and then put them right into the dishwasher. As you can see from the dish apocalypse in the kitchen, it hasn’t happened.

Mind you, today is compounded by the fact that Omega Child has a friend over, so 1) we have three extra people total in the house today rather than two and 2) he hasn’t done his daily chore which is load dishes into the dishwasher.

Still, that’s an inordinate amount of dishes for less than a 24 hour period.

We also have a cup infestation issue as well.

Yesterday, when the kidlets cleaned their room, we found five glasses upstairs. All half filled with water.

As we’re not about to be invaded by aliens, I assume this is just a sign people are being lazy rather than preparing for defending their family.

They have spread to the living room, the porch and the kitchen, where I am concerned they will link forces with the dishes and take over the house.

After Omega Child’s friend leaves, I’ll charge him with destroying the hordes of dishes by using the ultimate weapon: his hands and the dishwasher.

But even then, I know they’ll be back.

They’re always back.

If you don’t hear from me in 24 hours, send help. Or non-lazy kids.

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

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19
Jun
13

This is what I was talking about: Can Men Have It All? (Today Show)

In a moment of universal synchronicity (or dumb luck) The Today Show broached a subject we touched on late Tuesday night and will be a frequent topic of conversation around here for some time to come.

image via The Today Show

image via The Today Show

The segment was called “Can Men Have it All?” and it ran Wednesday morning. You can watch the video of it at Today.com, though I’d like to point out they filed it under “Moms”. I guess that’s the target audience but a section called “Dads” or “Parenting” would have been far more apt, right?

I guess that’s a rant for another day.

It’s an interesting video and I wanted to call a few things out in it.

At 0:46 of the video, we’re introduced to Hugh Kenny, who is “doing more around the home” (how novel). Hugh travels three days a week and talks a bit about the sacrifice he makes to do so, missing day care events and sports.

What struck me wasn’t that, because we all have to sacrifice something to balance everything out, right? I won’t judge his choices.

No, what got me was his need to “provide” for his family – just as his dad did before him.

Even with two people working, to Hugh, it’s his job to provide a living for his family.

It’s exactly the same thing the young man who I was trying to council a week or so ago (talked about a little here) was worried about. How can you spend more time with your kids, AND work a full time job AND help around the house AND AND AND

image captured from the movie Big Trouble in Little China and is NOT a self potrait

image captured from the movie Big Trouble in Little China and is NOT a self portrait

:KABOOM:

Seriously, how does your head not explode?

So we’re still stuck in the same place our dads were – it’s up to us (as men) to be the breadwinners even when our wives and partners earn money as well.

Our identity is still wrapped up in that space. That’s incredible pressure.

Don Draper is wondering why you're sitting reading when you should be working dammit. image via AMC's Mad Men

Don Draper is wondering why you’re sitting reading when you should be working dammit. image via AMC’s Mad Men

I was also interested in the host’s question of whether, given the choice a man would choose a promotion (and I would assume more hours/less family time) or more soccer games (more kid time).

It’s a good question and I was a little surprised to hear the guest say more and more men choose the family time. Not because I don’t agree, but because we aren’t programed to do that.

Another thing: 3 out of 5 men don’t hear praise or appreciation from their spouses for their expanded roles.

I don’t know I buy this, but you guys tell me. All I can say is, sometimes I hear it, sometimes I don’t. I also don’t do it for the props, I do what I do because I want to and because I’ve chosen to.

Finally, while I do agree with the guest that the idea that you can “have it all” is in some ways silly because we can’t have everything we want, when we want it, I don’t agree we can’t “have it all”.

Confused? Me too, but bear with me.

We can have it all – if we are better at having a realistic idea of what “it all” is.

Take a friend of mine for example. As far as I can tell, he “has it all”.

He’s working a dream job – I mean, it’s ridiculous how jealous I get of him, and I have worked and do work some fantastic gigs. But with the awesomeness comes lots of work – it’s a full time job and gets more full time during football season.

My friend also has a great family – a wife, three wonderful daughters (one of which has special needs) – who I know mean the absolute world to him.

I constantly see pictures of him in social media, not just at cool work things, but spending time with his family.

Now, is his life perfect? I can’t say. But he’s happy and as far as I can tell, he’s “got it all”. He keeps working to improve it all, and his goals shift but in the end, he sets his expectations in a sane and reasonable manner (most times) and then shoots for his goals.

Maybe his “got it all” isn’t mine or yours, but it’s a damned good one for him. In my mind, it also proves we can have it all.

We just need to do a better and more reasonable job defining what that is.

Maybe it’s providing money for the family. Maybe it’s providing dinner. Maybe it’s providing the care and feeding of the kids. Maybe it’s a mixture of some of those and a few more things.

But let’s first stop limiting ourselves by defining what we are by what our dad’s were.

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

19
Jun
13

Crap this Dad Says or “Holy Crap I need a first post!”

A long time ago, when my wife and I got married, our basic plan was for me to stay home and write (at the time I was an aspiring screenwriter).

It wasn’t a decision the parental units understood.

I mean, in theory they did. Intellectually they got it and supported it.

However, each parent, no matter how liberal or understanding they were, seemed to have reservations about me staying at home.

The more things change…..

Honestly, I think that as much as we all want to feel we’re accepting of a new way of doing things and the ability of any of us – man or woman – to pursue whatever our bliss is, we have a hard time dealing with it.

On the other hand, those myriad of opportunities are jacking us up pretty good as well.

The other day, a guy I know approached me to get some advice about being a dad. he’s a young “career” dude and the pregnancy wasn’t planned.

He was panicked because he wanted to be a good dad, like his own father was, but also wanted to succeed in the career he was on track for. He wanted – no, needed – to be the breadwinner, the kick-around-the-ball dad and everything else. He needed to spend a ton of time with the soon-to-arrive child as well as work the 12-14 hour days that come with the career he’s chosen.

How the hell do you balance that? How the hell am I supposed to advise that? Is there advice for that?

Our roles are changing and the opportunities that come bring real easy ways to become a bit unbalanced.

As men (or is it MEN), we are excited by the prospect of fatherhood and (for some of us) the potential to be home full time for our kids.

But like my extended family 12 years back, the idea is so foreign to us, and so in the face of the traditional male role that we all sort of freeze.

I’ve had  stay-at-home dads introduce themselves as such and then follow it up with “but I also…” as if being home with the kids wasn’t enough.

I sometimes find myself thinking the same thing.

So that’s one of the things this blog is about. Trying to piece together what the hell it means to be a dad and a “guy” in the world these days.

Which is not to say this is going to be some dry study with big words. Because I’m also a huge sports and comics geek. I’m a big fan of football (I write about it for a living), a huge Supernatural and Buffy fan, a passionate comic fan and professional dog walker (I’m dead serious).

I have two kids, both boys. Call them Alpha (the first) and Omega (the last). Alpha is a tween (God help us all) or as he called himself the other day “Sullen Tween”. The Omega is a ball of seven year old energy who (along with all his friends of either gender) really loves scatological humor.

I mean, REALLY LOVES IT.

You’d think one would prep me for the other but turns out the little shits are totally different.

Oh, right, there will sometimes be cursing on this blog. I’ll try to keep it under control.

I’ve been married about a dozen years and she hasn’t killed or maimed me yet.I’m as shocked as anyone.

We’ve lived in Los Angeles, Sacramento, Astoria and now New Jersey.

It’s been crazy.

So now I’ll be sharing my crazy with the world.

Ain’t you lucky?

I’ll aim for posts on Monday, Wednesday and Friday – even during football season though Monday posts might look like this:

WHYYYYYYY JETS WHYYYYYYYYYYYY HOW COULD YOU NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Some of what I write you’ll like, some of it you’ll love, most of it will make you think I’m nuts.

Some of it you’ll agree with, some of it, not so much.

Comment, bitch, email, complain – just try to keep it civil.

All right? All right.

For now I leave you with one of my favorite inadvertent Dad-Fails EVER.




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What I’m Into:

Reading: Dead Beat by Jim Butcher Listening to: The Heist, Macklemore Watching: Damages
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