Posts Tagged ‘life

19
Nov
18

I’m not ready for this – Part 1

Bas Senior Day

Senior Day with Sebastian, Melina and me.

So it begins.

Or rather, so it begins to end.

This past weekend — Saturday November 17, to be exact — marked the end of my eldest son’s football season and, unless something really crazy happens (hey the University of Southern California football team could need a scholarship athlete to pull up their GPA!), the end of his football career.

And with that it hit me that Sebastian, my first-born child, is really wrapping things up a and hurtling towards graduation, college and full on adulthood.

I’m not ready for this.

I mean, who is?

I guess some of you are, but if the experiences of friends are anything to judge by, it’s a very few.

Complicating this is football, something which has been a massive part of this family’s life for a decade. Our younger son, Simon, isn’t a football dude. He may be in the Marching Band when he heads to high school next year, so we may still be at occasional games.

And I’ll be there almost every Saturday, covering the game for the town paper as long as it’s around.

But neither of those things are the same experience as actively having a stake in what’s happening and a connection to the team as exists when you have a kid on it.

It doesn’t help that the game ended badly for Bas’ team, as they lost in the State Sectional final, on their home field. It also doesn’t help that for the fourth year in a row he was hurt, which probably cost him a starting job, so he didn’t play quite as much at the end of the season as he may have wanted.

It doesn’t help that football was a place he and I have connected for a long time. Less so as he has moved to high school and become interested in other things, I stopped coaching and we both had other things to occupy our time.

So it’s bittersweet to see the end of football.

Mind you, there is a small, guilty bit of me that is a little relieved. I can’t tell you how hard it was to divest myself of emotion for the team – a team with a significant number of kids I coached plus my son on it – during the seasons. I would imagine my editor probably could tell you stories where he rolled his eyes.

It’s easier to manage that when I don’t have a son there. I still know the kids and have a connection but it’s easier to shove that aside when it’s not your kid.

What makes it seem a little better are the things I saw from my son as the season progressed. He became more confident and invested. He also cared a great deal about his teammates.

He would defend the quarterback when we talked about that kid’s struggles.  He felt sympathy when two of his team were lost for the season right before the playoffs. Bas was supportive of players who earned spots over him, no matter how much he might have wished to have won the job himself.

And while he was hurting because he had just lost his final game ever, he was expressing concern for the future of the team, and hoping the two offensive linemen who won’t be graduating this spring would have a good last season when they were seniors themselves next year.

Football seemed to bring out some of the best in him. He was never one for the limelight – each week a senior is asked to lead the team onto the field with the Mountie flag, and Bas said he declined it when asked if he wanted to do it – but he was always the kid who had his teammate’s back.

Last season, when the Mounties won the State Championship – undefeated, I might add – Sebastian’s role was pretty limited. Some of that was due to injury, some of that was due to the team being ridiculously talented and deep.

So when the game was over and Montclair was celebrating, he admitted to me it was a bit bittersweet – he felt like he didn’t do a ton to help, and wished he had had a chance.

I tried to point out to him that what he did each week as a member of the scout team — a group of guys who run the plays the coaches think the next opponent will use — and when he got on the field to give another player a breather, was very important.

Every day at practice, the coaches knew they could rely on Bas to make sure he gave his all, did what he was supposed to and help the starters get prepared for the upcoming game. If the scout team isn’t focused and working as hard as they can, the starters won’t be as prepared.

It’s kind of an important lesson to learn, one I hope he will take as he moves through life. You don’t always get the limelight, and you don’t always get the accolades. That doesn’t make your role or value less.

Most of the time, the people around you notice. I think his coaches and fellow teammates did, and I think  his future coworkers and friends will as well.

A chapter in our lives is ending, one of many as we move towards his high school graduation. It only just hit me as we all sat eating dinner Saturday night, that we are at the beginning of the end of Sebastian as a kid.

And at the end of the beginning of the rest of his life.

I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m not sure if I will for a long time.

I know I’ll revisit this feeling, whatever it is, a lot this year, hence the “Part 1.” At some point, maybe we’ll reach the end of it.

Advertisements
26
Jul
13

Sometimes Social Media is for Something Other Than Bitching Loudly

I tend to see a lot of frustration on social media these days—trial verdicts and steroids in sports and random, bad things happening. Social Media—chiefly Twitter and Facebook of course—is the place where you go to yell.

Loudly.

And for long stretches of time.

image via Forbes.com

Why not? A lot of the time it’s an echo chamber—the people you follow and who follow you often believe (and get cheesed off by) the same stuff. It can be a little different for me at times because I’m in sports media, so that particular feed doesn’t get as much politics and whatnot in it because nobody is paying me to spout off about that stuff.

I will admit I do nerd it up on there at times though and others pay the price.

Still, my Facebook page has been filled with various bits of outrage for the last few weeks and I’ll be honest—it was getting to the point that I really couldn’t take it anymore. I mean, I get it, I’m outraged about a lot as well, but man it gets to be hard when every post is filled with anger and—often—vitriol.

On either end of the political spectrum by the way. Thanks media—you’ve taught us that screaming opinions and not listening is the way to go!

Yesterday though, the very first thing I saw on social media—Facebook to be exact—was a picture of an old college friend standing with his newborn baby boy. The kid was already smiling, which makes sense because his dad is awesome.

Social media is for a lot of different things. Sometimes we forget it can be a reminder life isn’t all anger and frustration.

So next time you’re looking at Facebook or Twitter and getting frustrated, do a search of your friends and followers. Look for the pictures they post and the updates they have which share their joy rather than their frustration.

And then go ahead and post some of your own. Go take a stupid picture of the cat. Find something dumb but adorable your kid says. Take a picture of a pint of beer and label it “IT’S DRINK O’CLOCK SOMEWHERE!”

If you can’t find the fun and joy in your feed, make the fun and joy in your feed.

And in that vein, here is an awesome picture of a T-Rex with tiny arms who is overcoming his adversity.

Hey, are you following Dad Moon Rising on Twitter or Facebook? Why the hell not?

via dumpaday.com




Follow me on Twitter

Enter your email for updates right to your inbox by magical email fairies named Ted and Sammy.

Join 214 other followers

What I’m Into:

Reading: Dead Beat by Jim Butcher Listening to: The Heist, Macklemore Watching: Damages
Advertisements